


Too Many Buckys

by completelyhopeless



Series: Coulson's pet 0-8-4 [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, coulson's pet 0-8-4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2674904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rogue 0-8-4 is just the start of their troubles. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Many Buckys

**Author's Note:**

> I had a different follow-up in mind for after "The Wrong Bucky."
> 
> This... so won.
> 
> It was not funny. Well, it was, but it still kind of hurts my brain.
> 
> This might take the crack cake and mean I should never ever do any of these again.

* * *

“May, we have a situation,” Coulson said into his phone, holding up a hand to keep Captain Rogers and his friend from interrupting him. He didn't know who the other man was, and he would have to get Skye to research him later, but that would have to wait until after the response team was in motion. He had to find his pet.

“I told you that it was probably in some storage locker where they put your things and it got misfiled. Probably by H.Y.D.R.A, even. Skye can find it in the archives—”

“Bucky is missing. He's loose, gone rogue.” Coulson took in the captain and sighed. “Well, apparently both Buckys are, but the one I think is the greater threat right now is the fur ball that ate part of Budapest.”

“Coulson, he's not a problem. He'll only be a problem if you don't get back here with his toy.”

“He's a problem,” Phil insisted. “I can hear him outside, and if we don't get this situation contained, it's going to be ugly and people will want to lock him up again, and you were right I should have left him on the Bus and—”

“Bucky is on the Bus. He's sitting in his chair next to me where he always sits when you're gone.”

Phil swallowed. “What? That's not possible. He's here. I know he's here. I can hear him. I know what that sounds like.”

“And I know what I'm looking at.”

Phil put his hand to his head. “If there are two Buckys—no, three—”

“Four. Simmons just said she wanted permission for a minor not-test on Bucky since he's in their lab,” May said, and Phil struggled to believe what he was hearing.

“Are we talking... tribbles?”

“If we are, you're a dead man,” she said, and then added, “Again.”

May ended the call, and Phil lowered his phone, frowning. Captain America looked at him with concern, and Phil tried to force a smile. It didn't work.

“What was that?”

“Few possibilities,” Phil began. “One, Bucky was a really poor name choice because my pet is actually female and has given birth. Or Bucky can clone himself. Or he got a girlfriend. None of those possibilities are good things, I might add.”

The captain's friend nudged him. “Time to call in the big guns? The Avengers?”

Rogers sighed. “I do not want to know what Stark will say about this.”

Phil nodded. “None of us do.”


End file.
